There’s always a day that I look at each of my children and realize the stage they were in yesterday seems noticeably less today. One stage is fading and another is emerging. It’s that bittersweet dimension of being a parent. You have to let go and move forward, knowing change is good and the new phase has beauty not yet seen. I’ve always documented those special days. Your journal, a blog, or a note for you to find someday from me has them all.
Today, I looked at you, my youngest son, at 17 months. Today I saw less of a baby, and for the first time, I saw the glimpse of a handsome little boy. A little boy who is learning to communicate, to have both joys and fears. Who’s loving new freedoms of walking, using a spoon, and not dumping a plate of food continuously at his high chair. Each time this happens I hold back tears, but each time I see that sparkle in each of your eyes. “Mommy I did it!” Is what you may be thinking. “What’s next for me?” It’s like you can see those emerging tears, and you’re there to make me smile. You see that as your mom, I get scared of unknown sometimes, but I do my best to show you strength. But you, as well as your brothers, model strength and joy every day to me. I learn so much from you already! Look how much God has done in your little life so far. For you specifically, look at the life-changing adventure of 2023 that you and I had. That you were right by my side in a year that pushed me closer to God than I’ve ever experienced. That someday, we can share the story of how we got through that year together. That God created you with a purpose, and every day a piece of that unfolds. As your mommy, it’s the greatest joy to watch every moment I am able.
Just like each of your siblings, you come with a miraculous story and are apart of a greater one unfolding. You may be less of a baby today than you were yesterday, but I love you more each day!