He says, “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
“There’s not enough time for….”
“I can’t believe how fast time is going!”
I think most of us have said something similar to one of these statements at least one time recently, right? I know I have.
I have been reminded often of how quickly time has flown these last eight and a half months. I have looked at my Snoopy calendar to see each day get closer to the big day of Baby Goodsell’s arrival. I look back a year ago and see how different life was, and how my plans for this year unfolded to something better than I could have planned.
For years, August meant back to school—3 years in preschool (yes, 3), 1 year of kindergarten, 6 years in elementary, 2 years in middle, 4 years in high school, 5 years in college, 1 year of subbing, 4 years of higher education at two universities, and 3 years of teaching. For 29 years, August meant going back to school, whether it was as a student, admission counselor, or teacher. August 2018, my 30th year, was different. The first part of August was still busy—finishing the nursery, taking classes at the hospital, and finishing organizing the house. I spent a lot of time getting together with friends (especially those who were going back to school soon). It felt strange to not go to Target for some type of school supply or a back-to-school item. It was different not getting a classroom set up or attending in-service days, but it was still enjoyable. My summer had been fairly busy and productive. Now it was August 13th. I looked at my to-do list in my phone titled, “Summer.” It was empty. I still had almost a month until the due date. What was I to do?
School started in two days, but the only thing that meant for me now was to check in with my friends to see if they were ready and basically tell them, “Good luck and have fun.” It was a bit weird to not be getting ready for a school year, but at the same I knew this was right where I needed to be.
That next day, August 14th, marked the beginning of some very long days. Like I mentioned, this pregnancy has been fairly pain-free, and overall very healthy. Time had flown by. That day, a new wave of fatigue, discomfort, and exhaustion seemed to hit. I slept a lot. I felt different, but the reality of a baby being here in a month or less was setting in even more.
It is now August 31. The last 17 days have felt somewhat slow, but they have been good. There have been a few days that I’ve felt the need to “do something”—clean, organize something, make a trip to the store, etc. After about an hour or two, I completely crash.
It has taken some time to sink in, but God has made it clearer to me each day that this August is a time to rest. It is not a time for me to rush into a full-time job or to be insanely busy. For many years, at least once in August, I’ve said something similar to, “There’s not enough time in the day” or “I wish there was more time to…” When I was little, there was never enough time to play. In middle school, there was never enough time with friends. In high school there was never enough time for sports and the hours of homework. It has continued on in each phase of life. This is the first August (since 29 years ago) that those thoughts to do not cross my mind. It’s refreshing!
This short, but slow-paced time of life is something I have talked about having for a long time. Now God has blessed me with not only the time of summer and part-time work, but almost an entire month of no commitments and an entire month of rest. That doesn’t seem real in today’s society, but it is a wonderful blessing. So, what have I been doing with all this time?
I have slept in, which is great after many sleepless or uncomfortable nights. I have spent hours playing piano and writing music, time with friends at coffee shops or taking walks, more time with my parents, sister, and nephew, and more time in God’s Word. Spending more time with my husband has also been so fun. I have tried new recipes, cooked many meals, taken naps, and taken time to watch sunrises and sunsets. I have worked on our baby book, journaled, spent more time in prayer. Numerous times, I just have been still. No emails, no technology, just quiet.
My biggest temptation has been to not value the precious time that God has given me. It has been easy for me to listen to the “You’re not doing enough”, the “Why aren’t you being productive” or the “You should be busy doing…” lies. I know this time of relaxation and refreshment is temporary, but I am so thankful for it. I may never have a time like this again for a long time (if ever).
God has brought the words, “Be still” to mind over and over this month (you can read more about that verse in an earlier blog). More recently He has been bringing the words, “I will provide” when I begin to think about finances or become anxious about not working full-time right now.
There are eleven days left until the due date. We get more and more excited each day. I agree that the third trimester is definitely the hardest physically (and sometimes emotionally), but for me it has been the most rewarding and a time where I’ve learned so much. God continues to use this time to show me that He is in control, that He provides, and that I can rest in Him.
A good friend commented the other day, “Christine, your life never goes how you think, but God blesses you with the best surprises and curve balls with His plans.” She went on to recount my life since 2010 and how each milestone has been carefully designed by God. I hadn’t looked back on it like that, but she was right. He is good, and I’m thankful that He is patient with me as I learn more of how to just be still and focus on Him.