Psalm 25:1-2 “Lord, I put my life in your hands. I trust in you, my God…”

Life is so different from a year ago. I remember all of the emotion and excitement going through my head last July. I was weeks away from having a baby, I felt incredibly huge, baby showers were over, and I was just waiting. I didn’t have a classroom to set up, which felt so strange. I walked, I listened to music, I played piano for hours, and I ate nothing but vegetable soup. Would the baby be a boy or girl? Would he or she be healthy? How would the first year go? Would it be as hard as I had heard from my friends with new babies? 

A beautiful boy has been a complete joy to our lives. He was healthy after the first few months. My health began to normalize just this month (ten months after he was born) after many doctor appointments. The first year was a challenge, but one of the best I’ve ever experienced. I wouldn’t trade a day of it. There were times I asked God what he was thinking of making me mom, even though I can’t imagine life without this little guy now. Each day God gave me just enough strength to get through whatever we encountered. 

As much as I thought life now would be a whirlwind, one faster than teaching, coaching, tutoring, middle school ministry at church, and all the go-go-go activity I had been used to, life has surprisingly slowed down. It is just different now. I have had more hours to spend in prayer, in worship, and in the quiet. I’ve had more time for my husband and our family of four (including Captain). It has been a blessing. I have had more time for seeing friends, playing the piano, and focusing on my relationship with God. I’ve learned more about myself (not always easy) and about God this last year than I have in my life so far. I’ve missed teaching in the classroom, but I’ve loved the time I’ve still been able to spend with my former co-workers and was blessed with an awesome season of coaching track again. 

The last eleven months have been challenging, but they have been good. Adjusting to motherhood was fairly difficult for me, but I am so thankful for my close friends and family who have been with me every step of the way. I’m thankful for my mom, who spent hours talking me through things, laughing with me, and telling me how much she and my son reminded her exactly of her and me as a newborn. I’m thankful for all the times I was at the doctor or hospital for my own health (without most people knowing), because each time reminded me that God is our great physician, and our bodies are only temporary here on earth. 

So what does life look like now? My little boy wakes up around six each day and is a chattery, early bird (which Zach would say is just like me). He’s smiling more often than not, and lately has been very hyper! He comes to work with me most days, and as much as he loves socializing with other infants and children, he also likes his own personal space (also like his mom). Each morning on our way to work we listen to worship music. Lately we have been singing together (he yells and kicks his feet when the music turns on). After work, we spend some time in the kitchen. He eats just about anything I put in front of him, watches me cook, and he throws food to let me know he is finished (which we are working on). He has a joyful sense of humor, and is smart (like his daddy). Sometimes he hangs out with me while I tutor or teach piano lessons in the evenings, or we go for walks with Zach and Captain. Zach and I take turns putting our son to bed; reading books and praying are something we try to do nightly.

Life is different now, but it is good. It doesn’t feel overwhelming most of the time. It is a different pace, is all new to me, but it is rewarding. It gives me time to spend with Jesus and my family, and it gives me time to take care of myself as well as others. I still get to teach young children each day, tutor middle school students, teach piano lessons, and coach. I’ve found that many of my classroom experiences in three years really helped prepare me for things now. God used experiences, relationships, hardships, and joys to show me more of who He is. 

It’s hard to believe that it has almost been a year that our son has been with us. I love being a mom, and I love this new stage of life. It’s not always easy (or fun), but I know it is a gift from God…one I would have never expected. This year has taught me a new meaning of trusting God. It has opened my eyes to the characteristics of God that I have begun to see in a new way. It has forced me to surrender even more of my life to Him than I knew how before. In the end, it’s worth it because He is worth it.