“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” -Psalm 139:16

Dear Baby,

Last night I went to a journaling class at church and we studied Psalm 139; verse 16 stood out to me, and I constantly thought about God’s miracles of life and of His goodness. We were encouraged to journal on this chapter throughout the week, and I couldn’t think of a better way to do that than to write you a blog. Both of your brothers have a blog post dedicated to them and a snapshot of the pregnancy. Now, it’s your turn!

Your room is ready. Your big brother moved out of the crib a week ago, and he is having the time of his life with sharing bunk beds with your oldest brother. We have your 20 week picture in the picture frame on your night stand, and all of your clothes are hung in your closet. The journal I’m writing to you is on your bookshelf. You can read it when you’re older, if you want.

We pray for you every day, and we are all getting more and more excited to meet you. Like both of your brothers, you are a miracle from the Lord to us. All three of you boys have been complete surprises, but God’s timing has been absolutely perfect.

I love hearing your heartbeat and feeling you kick and move around. You seem to be growing well so far. You keep me awake at night already, have made me almost despise chocolate (good job, no one else has been successful at that), and already respond to your brothers’ and daddy’s voices.

You have an incredible story, but I only know a small portion. On October 7th, Mommy was diagnosed with a kidney disease. It is rare, and something no one in our family expected. The doctor told us what was going on with my body, what the future looked like, and made the statement that, “Having more children will be close to impossible with this disease. Your kidneys will gradually become more damaged and probably won’t be able to support another pregnancy.” While it was a hard thing to hear, your daddy and I were so thankful that we already had your brothers. God designs each family, and it’s up to him how it all works out.

On January 7th, exactly three months later, I randomly took a pregnancy test (only because I had an extra one and it was one more thing to get rid of). I was shocked to see that I was pregnant. Absolutely no symptoms, I had been doing kidney tests and bloodwork all month as follow ups from surgeries, and there was no possible way. Was there? Oh, and the doctor said little to no chances of that happening again.

Fast forward a few weeks, and at 9 weeks, your daddy and I could see a strong heartbeat on the ultrasound at the doctor’s office. What a miracle! We were absolutely overjoyed that God chose to give us another child. What a wonderful surprise, and we both cried tears of joy.

Both the OBGYN and the urologist were shocked. They were beyond excited too, and when they did some more testing, saw that at least for now, while you are growing, my kidneys are functioning better than they have in a long time. Medically, it doesn’t make sense. With God, all things are possible though.

Fast forward again to about six months pregnant. At this point, Mommy is the healthiest she has been in over 4 years, and you are even healthier than your brothers were at this point. God is so good. Doctors are wonderful, and we are grateful for them, however even diseases do not dictate life’s circumstances, or life being created.

We thank God every day for you. You are a beautiful baby boy already, and we know that God has incredible plans for you. You already have a story that has impacted our family, our friends, our doctors, and our faith in God.

We have three months (or sooner) until we meet you, and we love you very much.