Dear Little Girl,

It’s hard to believe that soon we will get to meet you. We’ve gotten to see you on many ultrasounds, and I’m always in awe seeing a glimpse of the complexity of your design by God. You are beautiful! I’ll never forget this journey we have had so far together. While in ways, the pregnancy itself has been similar to your siblings, there are things that have been strikingly different. Physically, the first two trimesters were cake. I’ve never had more energy and drive those first 28 weeks. We were part of a wedding, we went through holidays, moved to a new house, and stayed busy with your brothers. By the third trimester (which usually is fairly painless), each week got tougher. All these little girl hormones were new to me. A fourth pregnancy in six years started to take a toll, but it has been worth it. We joke that you’ve made me a balloon of 25 lbs this time. I never gained much with your brothers, but I’ve never been happier to be a growing balloon with you! While the physical is visible to those around us, the spiritual, mental, emotional are very different this time (in a good way).

Here’s your family! Your daddy is a man who will fight for you, protect you, and point you toward God in life-changing ways. He is a hard worker, is caring, fun, and he loves you lots already. Your brothers will be your biggest fans, and they are so excited to hold you and play with you. We are not a “perfect” family by any means, but we have the best of times together. We go through the easy, the fun, the difficult, and the tragic together as best as we can together. We know we can’t do life alone, but we always have Jesus by our side. We’ve watched Him provide, heal, create, and love us together. We are all so excited to have you join our family soon.

While any life is truly a miracle, yours is one that is indescribable. God took your daddy and me on a path that we never expected beginning in 2023, but He’s using it to transform both of us in ways we will see for the rest of our lives together. While we were both content with being parents of boys forever, we had no idea that deep in our hearts, we longed for a daughter. If dreams can be hidden, this was one that even I didn’t realize existed. We both cried tears of joy when we heard, “It’s a girl” from the doctor at 20 weeks. We only see a glimpse of God’s timing now, but every day I’m in awe of where He took us as parents to approach the beauty now with you. Your journal will be there for you to read someday, and I’m already praying for the conversations we get to have as mother and daughter.

I have a beautiful spiritual mentor that you’ll meet soon after you’re born. She has walked with me these last couple years as a wise, Godly, woman, and someone who I’ve spent hours in prayer with. She has guided me through a huge part of your story, and one evening she said, “Christine, have you ever branched out in your prayers, and in addition to praying for the people you love, pray a bold desire from your own heart for you?” I realized I had never done that. I’ve prayed bold prayers—for miracles, for lives, for transformations, etc, but for other people only.

Two weeks later, I woke up in the middle of the night. I’ve found that as a parent I’ve spent more time awake at night praying than I have with the typical baby/kid things you hear about. Much of my insomnia is tied to pregnancy and hormones, however a large part is hours in prayer in the middle of the night. It’s quiet. It’s when the Lord speaks, but it’s when I’ve found the enemy attacks my heart and mind the most. I began praying for you again. In the quiet of that night, I got down on my knees, and, very timidly, prayed, “God, do you think someday I could have a little girl of my own? And if not, please don’t let this desire deepen any further for me?” In the moment I didn’t realize where the words came from, but it’s easy to see now that those came from deep within my heart.

You are a gift I do not deserve, but a hidden dream and answer to prayer that I never expected. I’m thankful for time today that as your brothers sleep, we are listening to worship music, and writing. We are on the home stretch. I’m not sure how many more days I’ll feel your kicks, movements, the nausea, and the random contractions, but I’ll cherish every hour of it until you’re here. I’ll see you soon, baby girl, and I love you!