No one tells you how hard the emotions hit when you have kids. Or how intense they are on all the milestone days, other than birthdays. I’ll never forget our five days in the NICU, our doctors, nurses, and hearing, “Your 5 lb baby is the strongest one here now. You’re going home today.”
September 14 will always be a special day. We came home with our little baby. He was able to drink a little milk from a bottle, was just learning to breastfeed, and was able to be off oxygen. What a little miracle. It was a tough day, too, as weird as it may seem. Our doctors, nurses, and everyone we met in the NICU told us goodbye. From the time I got to the hospital, they didn’t leave my side. Nurses came in to do their hourly checks, but they also just came in to talk. At just the right times, someone would come in to ask how I was doing. Half the time I’d just cry, but they knew exactly how to take care of us. They understood being scared, confused, and all the things I had never experienced before in the NICU. They were wonderful. They loved our family and helped us through those days. They took such good care of our little baby. We said goodbye to people we had just met days before, but felt like we had known them for a lifetime.
God used our little son’s life to grow and challenge my faith and trust in Him, and continues to today. From the time I was 5 weeks pregnant until today, God has reminded me that life on earth is but a breath, and that eternity is what matters. He has reminded me that our bodies and health are not flawless, and that physical uncertainties point us to our greatest certainty—Him.
When I get a piece of mail or a phone call from the NICU staff at Methodist Women’s Hospital, I still get caught off guard some days. On days like today, I vividly remember the drive home from the hospital. I remember seeing our oldest son’s smile when we walked in the door. Not only am I reminded of the love and care from our doctors and nurses, but also God’s deeper love for us.
Thank you, God, for a whole year of being at home with two little boys. Thank you for all that you have taken us through and all that you continue to teach me daily.